Chairs Affairs
Leftovers in Haiti
Preface
Scattered chairs. Broken, damaged and abandoned. Standing straight or upside down, with their arms and backs disjointed, their wheels twisted or missing. Although they were found in different conditions, they all stand out thanks to their light-blue color, which seems to mirror the sky. Lying beside them are air-conditioning units that have ceased blowing cold air and whose power cord has henceforth become orphaned. In the vicinity of deserted structures, a few ghost offices with their even fewer still upright tables bear the traces of human activity. These units that used to form part of a neutral decor meant to welcome temporary occupants have since turned into extraneous objects. Like the scars from a bygone era, they do not belong in an environment where nature seems to have slowly been taking over: here and there, weeds are growing between blocks of concrete, shrub branches are brushing against mesh fences and taking over containers whose height they are soon going to surpass.
In their dissonant eruption, these residue represent the landmarks of an ancient history. They mark the disappearance of an established order, their unsettling presence pointing to an absence. Once banal and useful, they have become objects of witnessing. Since their surroundings are bound to slowly fade away, they will only exist in a few memories. In order to represent the workings of memory, Plato used the model of a wax tablet, which would enable us to gradually imprint our sensations and thoughts upon it, thereby preserving them. Through receiving impressions from the outside, the imprints on each individual’s “wax tablet” would thus be engraved and archived. In a similar manner, before these work vestiges lay strewn across this open-air area, they also condensed various experiences, intense and quieter hours, moments of reflection and resolution. They do carry within themselves events and destinies we can only assume to be complex and intertwined.
For a whole year, Vittoria Groh has examined these remnants from the past and has drawn short stories out of them, as if they were modern tales documenting different life stages. Each situation was found as it stands—she never made any modifications or attempts at staging what she was photographing—and inspired her a story. In turn, that narrative illuminated her pictures, a mirror-like conceit with unfailingly unexpected effects that are at once incongruous and moving. It is as if she had succeeded in unraveling the mystery of appearances in order to lead us elsewhere, at the heart of other lives and personal reflections. Whether in daytime or nighttime, between light and shadows, she uncovers the signs of a reality often made of melancholic visions. Like a chapter that has definitely come to a close.
Just like the wild animals whose patterns and colors shapeshift in order to fool predators, Vittoria sometimes seems to suggest that our gaze is often fooled by what it believes it can spot. Whether it is too quick to linger over details or whether it does not notice them enough. Her approach shows us that each object always carries an event within itself, perhaps even a revelation.
Because she herself worked on location in Haiti with the UN, Vittoria Groh was able to witness the extraction process of a peace-keeping mission. In this location that was constantly changing but kept a few leftovers from former visitors, she wandered around, observed and devised her project, thinking of how words and images could interact. Little by little, trucks came by to pick up their freight. One day, when a few containers were removed from the space they occupied, a few cups with tea bags appeared in their stead. Thus a small part of what was once invisible came to light.
By Catherine Sauvat
Suddenly up and gone
When someone goes, people say they left a hole – an empty space. But there actually never is an emptiness left, in someone’s departure. That’s also, often, what makes departures so hard: the remaining pieces of a presence, in its absence.
In public transports, chairs carry multiple life flakes, crumbles of different stories. When someone stands up, their body warmth always takes a while longer, before leaving; and when you sit down, you can get tangled up, thinking about the kaleidoscope of lives that rested there.
Office chairs, on the other hand, have a much more intimate relationship with their owner, and when this one leaves them behind, they stand there: a piece of sudden identity; the feeling of a presence filling the absence.
Right and left
“It would have been 15 years together, in August. I was so used to hold her tight to the left side of me, that my whole body now has lost its balance and doesn’t move right anymore: I have a hard time keeping a straight line, and my hand is now brushing the ground. After 15 years, she just left. She put up a wall between us and left. I am old now. Maybe too old to find the other side of me again. Maybe too old to feel alright again. But I have hope; and in the meantime, I rest my back against the wall.”
Microwaves
"It’s the microwave. There is something about the repetitiveness of movements and sounds. Sometimes it follows you for life. I think microwaves are a purposeless reminder of passing time. Nothing unfaded has ever came out from a microwave anyway: the expectancy is pointless. What am I still doing here? Around me everything is collapsing, windows of an open world throwing me outside. Fresh air. What am I still doing here? Rootless, roofless, my life in a grey box under the blue sky. It’s the microwave. I see these minutes - red lights blinking: a bomb in the final moments of its life. What am I still doing here? I’m surrounded by an archive of unshareable experiences. What am I still doing here? There is already too much on my plate, and I’m only thirsty. Thirsty of life? It’s the microwave, that gave me a reason to go. It ringed, and something finally changed. There was silence, a discordance of feelings, and space for a whole other rhythm to begin."
Inclinations
"Voltaire once said ‘I decided to be happy, because my doctor said it was good for my health’. He really believed in all these Google quotes, and used to print and hang them behind his desk. And so it was. Failure after failure, karma seemed to pursue him, but he didn’t give up. This time, he thought, she really was a piece of rare exotic beauty, and he was inclined to do everything he could to charm these turquoise, large, warm ankles. As many unknown others say, ‘difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations’.”
Danger zone
“You know what the issue is? Once you have lived on the edge, you can not go back to the middle. Once you have walked on the brink of danger and felt the thrill of the unknown; once your body was shaken by the unexpected; once you have experienced the whole range of directions your emotions can take in just a few moments, you simply can not go back to average. There are shivering particles running all over you skin. You know you have a very high risk of getting electrocuted, but aren’t this magnetism, this current and all of these sparkles totally worth it?”
Parted
"I became crazy for her. Around here, my French friends tell me “tu as perdu complètement la tête.” But back in Africa we don’t lose our head, or our mind. We bend, we bend, we bend; and if at some point we break... Well, then we are broken in two. Not in pieces - just want to make this clear - but in two. It’s easier to fix two sides than many, right? I would say to my French friends that it’s probably easier to fix two sides than to find your head again. But that’s another story."
Cigarette break
"Who do you think the new guy is?" "The one just walking passed us?" "Yes, him." "I don't know. He looks quite sure of himself, showing off his broad shoulders with confident moves." "Yes, maybe. Also not bad looking though. And I don't know what it is, but he looks different." "Mmh. Still looks a bit too cocky to me." "Maybe." "Oh, now I see! It's the aura he emanates. It somehow makes him stand out, as if he was glowing. Have you ever noticed how good it feels, when a new face comes in? These people are still so full of enthusiasm and positive energy: it's a window of fresh air." "Fresh meat, you mean?" "Oh, one track, with you! Forget it."
Enlightening
"I feel enlightened. Well, actually, I knew from the start he was just like all the others: turning around like a peacock, trying to impress me with his superficial, apparent, blue deepness. As if he had something original to say or show. The typical office type, never up to try his wheels on unknown paths. It did not take me long to make him disappear from my view; just like I did with the other ones, left there to think about their conventionality, in the shadow of the courtyard. I am glowing, now. Nobody is going to steal my light anymore."
Hiccups
“Come on, forgive me,” “No.” “Come on, at least speak to me.” “ No.” “Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on...” “I said no.”
Heading off
"She was heading off to one of those countries. You know, the ones where things really happen. Where there is action, and screams, and long hours, and your body feels drained, and you really need those rest and recuperation days. I just could not stand the idea of losing her, you know. I remember when we first met: I fell head over heels for her. We had a big fight last night. One of those fights where everything you touch turns into a weapon. 'Now, that's the action you're missing, is it? Is that not enough for you?', I said. Mean words and untruthful feelings were flying in between pieces of furniture. Later on, I looked around and found myself lying in the middle of a war zone - scattered emotions where there was once a whole. I felt light-headed and broken; my heart torn apart."
Drinking
The battle has always been between me and the bottle. I moved and changed between different skies; different heartbeats, laughs, wounds, fears, ideas, scars, and gunshots. The bottle was always there - with me, close to me - wherever I went. Have you ever tried, living in a bottle's shadow? The light is there, you can see it, but it does not touch you - it just shines a few steps away.
Long-distance
"She always used to come out of a door with a large smile, that brightened whatever else could be going wrong, that day. Her gestures used to be the connection between our two worlds. Without her, I suddenly feel my presence, into this white room, and the blank space where she used to sit. But when we call each-other, everything colors up with memories, laughs and new construction plans; and I don't mind looking at empty frames, while picturing new fillings. They say that when a door closes, another one opens; and I feel like ahead of us every door is now open."
Followers
"Why are you still following me? Don't you see space is getting tighter around us?" "Well, that's what we said we would do, no? Isn't that how it's supposed to work? One follows the other, then the other follows the other, and so on?" "So, if I tell you to follow me into the dark, you would?" "Listen, it's just... We have changed. People change. And you see, this system did not work well from the start: every time we were the follower, we felt a bit more off balance, and slowly ended up losing track of who we really are. Do you still know who you are, or what you want for yourself, when you are rolling behind me?"
Marriage
"That's an example of the typical divorce cases I hate treating. They are still in a deep fight and are stuck at an impasse. He is trying to reconciliate, but she is not listening. She prefers staring at the wall than looking at him. I can't blame her, to be honest. He took the money and the furniture yet doesn't give up on them. She is left with nothing."
Off-road
"Everyone is always so perfectly lined up: a neat reflection of each other. White sheeps, obediently following one rule after the other. But where is the life in that? Why sliding on the same, used tracks, when you can stumble off-road?"
Falling
"He just fell in love."
Snakes
“You once asked me about hard decisions. You see, there are choices you can make; and then there are inevitable facts that dress up as choices - glancing at you, eyes filled with seductive hope. The second ones are subtle, and get into you through squiggly roads you in the first place didn’t know existed. It can take a long time to disguise them; and even longer to accept you actually never had a say in the direction of events. The first ones made me stand on my feet; but the second ones made me shed my skin and grow stronger. As snakes, we inevitably leave parts of us behind. It’s me with a double layer, now.”
Households
“What have you done?” “God, darling, give me a break. I need a beer. And a burger. I am exhausted. I didn’t know that using the vacuum would be such a tiring experience. And then the first one said it was full, so I had to buy another one. And now they both say that they are full! What should I do? I mean, we can’t keep buying new vacuums every time they are full!” “...”
Coffee break
"...And so yes, he slept with that other girl, and she was so upset, and then drank too much, and then ended up with that guy, you know, the one from the back section?" "No! Seriously?" "Yes, right? I couldn't believe it when I heard it either. With him? Her?Such a pretty girl!" "But so then what happened?" "Oh, well nothing more. Didn't go very far for him. Didn't go much further for her. The usual. But then you know what people are saying?" "No, tell me!"
Triangles
One day someone gave me this advice: 'if your relationship starts looking more like a triangle than like any other two-sided figure, cut yourself some time out to think about the shape you prefer taking. If you have never been good with Pythagoras's theorems and all that stuff, then exit the triangle and don't feel ashamed to stand as your own segment. You'll soon find another intersection on your way.'
Insomnia
"I can’t really sleep at night, anymore. My mind wanders between places I have been to, books I have read, people I have met. Intertwined thoughts that often make no sense bring me to far away lands, with close-up images of my current world abruptly interrupting the slideshow. Someone once lived in Asia, for a long time, and wrote 'I am not saying that there are no electric fans in non-communist countries, but they are less pervasive, and, more subtly, they are of no significance. The electric fan is to communism as the epithet is to Homer: Homer is not the only writer in the world to employ epithets, but it was under his pen that the epithet took on its full meaning.' Was it really Asia, she was living in? Or was it Central America? Tomorrow I need to sign off those proposals. Homer. I can really remember those fans."
Cleaning up
"Well, that's it. I've done a hell of a good job here. I still air my dirty laundry in public, true; but... A step at a time. I suppose they were right: there's always a moment in life when you need to take a step back and get some perspective. And a drastic clean-up goes in pair with that, does it. It's usually when you get things back together, that you realize the extent of the mess you were in."
Burning
“I was burning, man. You can’t imagine. Or maybe I just can’t explain it. I probably don’t really know where the fire came from either. My brain? My heart? Both? She is everywhere in there too, that’s for sure. In my mind, I mean. But there was something else. It was like if all of these thoughts suddenly crashed together, and everything had lighten up. I mean, before yesterday everything was mostly smoke. Now all around me can be dark; but me? I am still up, man. I can feel emotions like a blaze inside me. Do you think that’s what comes after a burn out? Or is that what comes with love?”
Interview
“So, I’ve read your resume. Impressive. I just would like to go through a few more questions... Where do you see yourself in five years?” “Ehm. Did the last one end up like this (indicating something on his right) after five years working for you? Because I have other plans.”
Window pain
“I have been waiting under your window for days. Trying to speak, trying to sing, trying to apologize. There is no way out of this. I’m far from being Romeo, but I tried. I guess this is why they call it window pain.”
Paintball
“This is exactly what I have been waiting for. Yes, there are a few scratches on my skin, sometimes. Yes, it is a bit rough, sometimes. Yes, we throw stuff at each other, sometimes. But we are both living in an eternal wild, fun, paintball game - waiting for one another at every corner. And there can be clouds, and dust, and trash; but the world, this way, is fucking colorful."
Flushing
“I gave you my heart! It was wrapped in a sandy paper box. The color was that of beaches. You know how many sand grains there are on the beaches? It was a gift! It was supposed to be the gift of infinity. And now look what you’ve done to it. You tore it apart. Ripped it. You gave rough edges to what had no end.” “Oh Lord, will you just shut up? It was just sex. Good sex. Great bathroom sex. But just sex. Now flush away all of these cheesy feelings and let’s get out of here.”
Shit
“Guys - I made it. I’m finally done with cleaning everyone else's shit. I’ve lost my mind in the process, but what do they say? What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? And to be honest, standing here, close to this mess, but not in it - I never felt better.”
Dancefloor
“And there I was. The last days before leaving. The shadows of all those friends I saw getting off before me, behind my back, in a melancholic light. The future, still dark ahead. Standing right in the middle of this - where light and darkness seemed to have left an empty space - I felt like dancing. Tonight this was going to be my dancefloor. And light and darkness would only be blinking in my head, as in a disco summer night.”
In line
"You know, Three, Primo Levi once said ‘the aims of life are the best defense against death’.” “Primo Levi! You mean we are like... In a concentration camp?” “Oh, shut up, One! Three, don’t listen to him. One is just being an idiot.” “Well, look at us, Seven. A concentration camp, I was going too far, I admit it; but look at Twenty-four and Twenty-six, in that truck. Is this the way we should be treated? After having worked so hard, we are now in a line, with no choice as if to stay or leave, ready to be pushed, and thrown and squeezed? I am just saying.” “Maybe not, One, maybe not. Maybe we’ll just stay here, in a line, waiting, and we’ll never be thrown in a truck. You always have to think the worst.” “Maybe. Maybe it’s going to be that one time I’ll be proved wrong.”
Packed
"Hey, Twenty-six, I can see the sky!" "What are you talking about, Twenty-four. The only thing I can see are legs, and arms, and other legs. Some of them are broken. Thirteen has been beheaded. We are lucky, Twenty-four, we are lucky; but how can you tell me you are looking at the sky? Eight, my wonderful girl, to who I had promised a life of infinite possibilities whatever direction we would take, is gone. It's horrible, Twenty-four. It's just horrible." "I know, Twenty-six, I know. But I have spent years with horizontal sights, and now, at the bottom of a deadly truck, I finally have eyes on the full extent of the sky."